Labeling

Not the kind that pop out of the handy label maker to put on files and cabinets. I’m talking about the kind that we use on people to pigeon-hole each other and ourselves.
One interesting thing I read recently about relationships with people in general is to "drop your story" and how it will free you from how you see yourself and how you want others to see you. Just be who you are by showing the world who are and not by not explaining it. It will also allow a person to grow beyond that particular story. I have a friend who tells his story every time we have serious discussion about any subject really. He was a nerd, got beat up by the jocks daily walking to school. He had a growth spurt and then he beat up the jocks and was totally misunderstood. I can recite his story for him if he ever forgot it. I have stopped myself a few times from saying, "I've heard this a few times already, I do pay attention sometimes." I decided to let him tell me his story when he needs to.
He's told me that he has no introspective part of himself. If he thought too hard about things then he might get depressed, so he doesn’t think too much about things. But, that's the point of dropping your story. It allows you move beyond your chosen role and identity. If you don’t think about anything again and use the same story for years, then you don’t have to go forward. I think personality is fluid and dynamic and you aren't the same person you were at age 6, 16, 26 or 36. I look at my 20 year old self and don't recognize that person. Both ways you can stop thinking about one’s self though. The lack of a “story” keeps us moving ahead, though.

Then who are you after you've dropped your story? Does that mean you have a new story to drop? No, I think ideally I wouldn't have a story to drop at all.
The interesting thing I am seeing about having a new teen is that she is starting with her story. She likes to describe herself, as do many kids her age. They are going through the labeling of themselves and people. I am a Goth, I am a prep I am a jock. I am starting to talk to her about labels and how useless they are for people. I hope I can get that point across. So many adults still use those labels they put on themselves and others like they did back when they were 13. I’d like to see if that is a factor in a person’s development of their personality; not labeling others and one’s self. I’m pretty sure it has to do one’s happiness quotient over all. The question though is can we ever stop the compulsion?